IDK about you, but slutty Y2K pop is something that I truly miss. I had absolutely zero business listening to this when I was six, but it’s okay—I turned out juuuust fine. 😏

“It’s about to be a WHAT???” — Brooke Valentine/10-year-old me who has absolutely never been in a girlfight (it’s catchy, okay?)!

Kurt Cobain once said “it’s better to burn out than to fade away.” While he was *technically* talking about himself, he could’ve been talking about The Click Five too. In 2005 (holy cow), “Just the Girl” reached 11 on the US Billboard 100 Chart and became certified gold (i.e. hitting 500,ooo in sales) by the RIAA. Too bad they never had a hit single ever again!

The last time Blu Cantrell’s name was in the press (before this chart-topping hit, ofc), it was because people were speculating Beyoncé and Jay-Z named Blu Ivy after her. Ironically enough, Jay-Z and Blu Cantrell did date! But that really wasn’t enough to justify the theory of naming his and Bey’s daughter after her, LOL.

Pop rock was HUGE in the 2000s, and one of the many songs that would eventually rise to become a cult classic was this iconic Wheatus track. Though the song enjoyed moderate success in the States, it was a chart smash worldwide and ended up selling five million units globally. Not bad for a bunch of self-proclaimed teenage dirtbags.

Raise your hand if you heard this song on a ringtone commercial (LOL, remember those?) while waiting for the newest Degrassi: The Next Generation episode to air on The N! 🙋‍♀️

You might recall this as the song that was playing before Carla Santini—from Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, duh—fought Lola Step to learn what role she got in the school play. But “Never Leave You” so much more: It’s R&B and dancehall at its best.

Before singing his “I Wanna Know You” duet on Hannah Montana (apologizing for your flashback rn), David Archuelta rose to fame after placing number two on American Idol and releasing “Crush” as his debut single. And it didn’t do too shabby either—to date, the song has sold over 2 million copies. Wherever he is now, I hope he’s doing okay!

It’s so easy to forget that Kandi had a singing career before starring in The Real Housewives of Atlanta, but homegirl was out there! Before making music on her own, she was a member ’90s girl group Xscape. “Don’t Think I’m Not” was Kandi’s debut solo single—it peaked at number four on Billboard’s Rhythmic Chart back in 2000. And 20 years later, it still slaps.

(Somehow I never seemed to question the very random black cartoon woman dancing in the middle of the video, but that’s probs because this song was too cool for me to care.)

I might be bold for saying this, but “Teenage Dirtbag” paved the way for “Stacy’s Mom” and the success it had. In 2004, “Stacy’s Mom” was able to hit number 21 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, secure a Grammy nomination for Best Vocal Pop Performance, and become certified gold. All because the lead singer’s friend had a crush on his grandmother.

“I want to go to college for the rest of my life” said nobody—aside from Asher Roth—ever, but given how popular this song was in its heyday (2009, wow), I’m pretty sure a bunch of soon-to-be college freshmen bought into the “best four years of your life” hype.

Despite ranking number 7 in Rolling Stone‘s Most Annoying Songs poll back in 2007, James Blunt enjoyed a sh*t ton of success including (but not limited to): three Grammy Award nominations, a quadruple platinum RIAA certification, and the first ever BMI Internet award. James has been making music ever since, but none of his albums have been able to live up to the hype.

To quote Mr. MIMS: “I’m hot ’cause I’m fly, you ain’t ’cause you not.” Quality 2000s rap, riiiight here.

I definitely recall requesting this on Radio Disney as a wee lassie, don’t judge! “Bad Day” was THE melancholic bop we all needed to get through another shitty day in the life, which is probssss why the song ended up going three times platinum, selling over three million copies in the United States alone. That’s a lot of sad tears!

In case you didn’t know: Gnarls Barkley was the effort of Cee Lo Green and producer Danger Mouse. While “Crazy” received widespread praise, the duo never had another hit song. At least they both had other major successes on their own!

Yep, all the hot girls that have vibranium knees now like Megan thee Stallion spent a nice chunk of the 2000s trying to perfect their pop, lock, and drop it technique. Do you see the how low the girls in the video dipped it to the floor? Dance kweens, the whole lot of them.

Allow me to set the scene: The year is 2004, the person you’ve been crushing on forever plays you this song, confirming their like for you, and you both ride off together in the sunset because voilà! Your relationship? #Confirmed. That’s the power this song has.

Russian duo t.a.T.u was serving you emo, angsty teen girl realness back in 2000 that TBH, you are probably in desperate need of right now because everything is awful and the world seriously sucks. It wasn’t a phase then, and it surely isn’t a phase now. 😤

Did you even experience the 200os if you didn’t hear this at least once @ your local Limited Too store? (Probably not.) What I’m saying here is that DREAM’s “He Loves U Not” was basically inescapable in 2000/2001 after peaking at number two on the Billboard Hot 100. Sadly, they never secured the top spot because Destiny’s Child was too busy dominating with “Independent Women.”

The introduction of “Bulletproof” to the world left us all hungry for more electropop in the years following its release. In fact, the song was so legendary that TikTok has made it popular again over a decade later…by using it to soundtrack their personal traumas in video form. The power of the internet, amirite?

Snap music music from Atlanta (i.e. a subgenre of hip-hop music derived from crunk) had a SERIOUS moment in the mid late-2000s. Cherish’s “Do It to It” was one of the girlier, cuter songs to achieve hit status in the genre—and how could it not? That chorus was (and still is) *chef’s kiss*.

It’s been a good decade and a half since D4L’s “Laffy Taffy” became a snap music hit, but I was literally today years old when I unfortunately found out that “laffy taffy” is a slang term for a person’s labia minora. So basically, the dudes in the song are requesting that girls shake their WAP. [insert “the more you know” GIF here]

As gross as a chicken noodle soup and soda combo sounds IRL, this song was just too good resist. If you didn’t have a childhood moment witnessing two people dance battle to this song, I am sorry to inform you that you, my friend, have missed out.

I spent the rest of the 2000s trying to forget this song even existed. Tried to scrub it from my brain, even! But “Who Let the Dogs Out” relentlessly burned up the charts in 2000 to my dismay…regardless of it being named one of the most annoying songs ever by Rolling Stone. Thankfully, this was Baha Men’s first (and only) hit.

Fun fact! Before absolutely shredding it on this now-slept on track that rightfully ended up peaking at number three on Billboard Mainstream Top 40 chart, Orianthi (yes, that is her real name) played guitar for both Carrie Underwood and Michael Jackson on tour. Now that’s what I call talent.

19 years later and I’m still trying to figure out if the lyrics say “He’s too stoned to know” or “He’s too stoned, Nintendo.” You hear it, right? Right???

Back when American Idol actually made stars out of people, Bo Bice ascended to the top of the Billboard charts after performing his “Inside Your Heaven” in the show’s finale. Sure, Bo ended up losing to Carrie Underwood, but at least he secured a number two hit out of it!

You can’t talk about massive hit songs of the 2000s without mentioning “Absolutely (Story of a Girl)” by Nine Days. You just can’t. This song was so important to teen friendly pop at the time, that it’s almost hard to believe the band’s guitarist essentially wrote the entire thing in one day after getting into a fight with his girlfriend. The rest, as they say, is history!